Song of the Siren by Philippa Carr

Author:Philippa Carr [Carr, Philippa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-4804-0373-4
Publisher: Open Road Media
Published: 2013-01-10T20:59:00+00:00

I stood there crunching the paper in my hand. I could not describe my feelings. Relief that she was safe; pride, I think, because he had wanted her so much that he risked his life to take her; excitement at the thought of being with him again; and a certain desperate determination to be true from now on to Benjie. My feelings were all so jumbled. I was wildly happy and desperately sad all in the matter of seconds. My mind kept wandering on to the night, to seeing him again, to flying with him … where? … to the coast of course. I knew that a boat would be waiting there. I knew that this night I could begin a life of excitement and exhilaration. I could be reunited with my child, who was meaning more to me every day. The child and her father.

That was what I wanted. What was the use of denying it? This sober life in the country was something I was not meant for. Damaris would have enjoyed it. And Damaris had been denied it. How happy she would have been married to Matt and having children. But I had spoilt that for her. I could so easily spoil Benjie’s life … but I must not. There was enough on my conscience already.

What should I do?

There were two alternatives. No, three. One would lose me my child, and I was determined that should not be. It was that I should say nothing of this, do nothing … not go to meet him. Refuse to see him until he went away taking Clarissa with him. Another way was to show the note to Benjie and Gregory and Harriet. To let them know that he had Clarissa, who he was, and to have soldiers surround the shrubbery and take him at the time when I was to meet him. He would have to give up Clarissa then and that would be the end of him. That would be the loyal course of action—to Benjie and to my country. The last alternative was to go to the meeting place in secret to see him …

I knew what would happen. He would carry me off, by force if need be. Knowing him, I realised what was in his mind.

I could not return to the house yet. My thoughts were in a turmoil.

How could I let them go on searching frantically for Clarissa when I knew where she was? Yet how could I let them know that she was in the keeping of the Jacobite leader who was a wanted man.

Finally I went back to the house. Benjie put an arm about me. His face was white and strained.

“Where have you been? I was beginning to get anxious about you.”

That was the moment to show him the paper which I had screwed up and put inside the bodice of my gown. My hand went to it. It was the sight of Benjie, who loved me so much, who was such a good man.

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